I’ve got a type A personality. I’m one of those wanting to achieve greatness types who never feels like they’re doing enough to achieve those lofty ambitions.
Part of it is probably from being given a scholarship at a private school and being constantly told by peers and teachers that I had to be the dux each year. The others probably being accepted into a selective high school and feeling the pressure of never feeling as smart as my genius counterparts.
Whatever. The pressure on myself is purely my own, I know that. But it doesn’t stop it from being there.
For the last few years, my life goal has been purely to procreate. How feminist of me… Getting there wasn’t the easiest thanks to stillbirth, miscarriage etc but lucky for me I have a gorgeous little girl.
Last year, my goal was to keep her alive (tick), get her to sleep (tick, for the most part) and stay sane (dubious, but tick). My little progeny is now 15 months old and is a smiley ball of energy who lights up my world.
However I feel like I’m meant to do more now. Like achieve some more stuff. I recently got a three day a week job in my field editing websites. I was pretty happy to be able to score such a gig it as it means I have time to look after my daughter for most of the week and explore my side projects. Which are:
- Freelance writing. I love writing and want to do more of it, particularly get paid to do it. I have written two stories this year but haven’t been paid yet.
- Photography. I have a fancy dslr and my goal for the year is to really understand the little knobs and buttons and not to resort to the easy but less satisfying automatic function. I’m doing one of those 30 day challenges but I’m only up to day 5 when I should be on day 18…
- Sell on etsy. I sew little things like toys bags and breastfeeding covers for gifts. I thought it would be a great way to make some extra cash while doing some thing I love. I have one item in my store. It hasn’t sold yet.
- Do yoga. I loved yoga while I was pregnant and when I could attend mums and bubs courses. So far I haven’t done a class this year yet although I have googled a few…
These ‘side projects’ fit into my daughter’s ever decreasing nap schedule as I haven’t yet worked out how to entertain her while ‘working’. Or even if I should be ignoring her while indulging in my interests as the point of working part time was to spend time with her.
I’m wondering whether I’ve taken on too much? Or am I doing too little? I don’t want to give up on anything as they’re all things I want to achieve. Only time will tell.