I’m 6 months pregnant with my second child, and although I’m definitely more exhausted, I feel like a huge whale already and can’t comprehend how I’m going to last 3 more months while running after a toddler, fortunately everything is going well so far.
Just like we did with our older daughter, we opted to find out the sex. This time, however, we did the harmony blood test so found out at about 13 weeks that we were expecting another little girl. Our toddler is so excited, she proudly tells people she’s getting a little sister and has been busy practising wrapping her dolls in anticipation. I’m hoping she might give me back some of the swaddles for the real baby at some point…
We didn’t mind either way whether it was a boy or girl. However according to the rest of the world, we apparently should have wished harder for a boy. When I tell most people that we’re expecting another girl, I almost always get a look of disappointment. It’s like they don’t know what to say with such devastating news.
If it were a boy, the response is easy:”Oh one of each, how lovely,” or something of the sort. However I’ve been getting responses like “Are you happy,” (well yeah, obviously) and the worst – “Will you try for a boy next?” (Because you can plan these things apparently…)
I’ve asked some friends with 2 boys and they received the same reaction. It’s like having a family with uneven genders is some sort of disappointment. Our Central Casting, Hallmark culture teaches us that one daughter and one son is seen to be the ultimate. It fits into our perfect image of two parents, two kids and a dog behind the white picket fence.
Of course not everyone is like this, I’ve had some lovely reactions from people (particularly those who have 2 daughters themselves). They’re quick to point out the advantages of having two of the same gender, like sharing friends, hobbies and toys.
I’m so happy I’m having another daughter although mainly I’m happy to be having another child. I have many friends going through the uncertainty of infertility and secondary infertility. Furthermore, this is my fourth pregnancy. After the trauma of stillbirth and miscarriage, I will feel blessed just to meet this baby. Whether she is a boy or girl seems immaterial.
Obviously there are practical reasons why having two girls is an advantage. I already have a bursting wardrobe full of clothes and a toy area full of dolls and floral accessories. Many of the clothes were barely worn with number one, so it’s great to be able to get another child into them. Dressing girls is so much fun, until the age of 2 that is, when Miss Toddler decided to assert herself and refused to leave the house without some sort of ‘dancing skirt’. Now it’s hell, but I digress.
Mostly, I’m excited that my girls will get the experience of having a sister. I was almost 9 when my sister was born and although I loved my brothers, I was beyond thrilled to get a sister. Over the years, our relationship has grown despite our age gap. Although we are always at different stages of life, she is one of the most important people to me and our relationship is one I treasure above almost all others.
So all going well, in three months we will welcome our special second daughter. I’m excited to meet her and find out why type of person she is. Will she be feisty or placid? Will she like football or dancing or art or music? Will she shun dancing skirts in favour of jeans and sneakers? I’m so excited to watch her grow and see the relationship with her big sister develop as they hopefully become friends for life.